The Amazons

Originally posted on June 20, 2007

Amazon women, that's the most apt description I can think of, of the women in my mother's side of the family.  Out of the six sisters my mother has, only one was ever beat up by her husband. But even that particular aunt fought back in the end.  Then in the generation after them, meaning 'us', none of the girls were ever beat up by a boy. Even little old pathetically-sized me. And whenever our families find time to get together, every one has funny stories about misadventures in which some female in our clan was the lead star. Some of them may have been embellished to make them sound more heroic than they really were. But, more or less, the main plots and characters are true. Or so they say.  Here are some of them.

Ate Ellen, a first degree cousin, got angry with her father-in-law about something and got so frustrated that she went to her kitchen and came out with a 'sundang'[a really big bolo knife]. She then proceeded to chase her father-in-law with it. But she was able to calm down after some family members tried to literally drag her away.

Tita Cathy, an older sister of my mother, had a squabble with a local policewoman who refused to pay her debt. My frustrated tita called her names and the ingrate sued her for 'oral defamation'. The policewoman then sent her fellow police officers to my aunt's house, ready with the court summons. Little did they know the extent of my aunt's wrath. When the police arrived, she told them to go away, shouting she didn't do anything wrong. When the police refused, my aunt went to the back of the house to get her long-handled broom (it was for the ceiling). The police, thinking it was a shotgun, nervously backed off and told her to put down her weapon. My aunt, deaf to their entreaties, advanced on them all the while raising her broom stick. The police, with their guns and all, hurriedly ran to their vehicles and drove away. (My uncle could not control his laughter for hours after that.)

My mother, or "the woman with scary piercing eyes" as my father would call her sometimes. She scares other people away with just one sharp look. Did I mention already that she is incredibly strong? Yes, she is. She used to fling us around when she gets frustrated with us. Hahaha! No need to call "Bantay Bata" though. We didn't really get hurt, just scared into obedience. That was what we, my siblings and I,  got for being hardheaded when we were kids. That, or a bruise from the buckle of my father's belt, which was quite rare. My father was pretty passive as we were growing up.  [My parents obviously believed in capital punishment. But I turned out all right…I think.] When Papa came home from work, we would run up to him and tell on our mother…"Pa, grabe na si Mama! Murag tiger!" my sister would vehemently declare. "No oi, Tigress! Girl man si Mama," I would haughtily correct my sister (even back then, pilosopa na ko). When my mother saw us talking to our father, she would angrily ask us, "Unsa naman sad?! Palaban nasad mo?!" We would hastily scatter to the four winds with that. We would only come back home when it was time for dinner or sleep.

I still have a lot of stories about the 'Amazons' in our family, but I can't recall the others now though. Maybe when we get together and have another reunion, I'd be able to recall some and maybe even add more . Who knows? I might be able to hear funnier and crazier tales of the 'tigresses' in our family.

*According to Neil Gaiman, "All stories belonged to Tiger once."  Who knows, the 'tiger' could have been a 'tigress'.  I know, some useless information.

Yes, I'm still devoid of focus.