Skip to main content

Pardonnez-moi

It has never been much of a secret to people, or to myself, that I can be quite brutal when stating facts. Sometimes, I'm just too impatient to find ways to skirt around hurtful words and just bluntly say things that pop into my head. In short, I'm usually tactless. Other times, I'm just plain careless. But contrary to what most people probably think of me, I don't like nudging people's sensibilities. I don't like stepping on other people's toes either. And this might be a hard concept to grasp, but some people do know how to make up their own minds... and stand by them--come hell or high water. And I am one of them. I don't know why?! But with every set of friends I make, this concept seems to be quite hard for them to swallow. Why?! I just want to dodge those seemingly inescapable monikers "bitch" or "ice queen" for a change. Is that so hard to comprehend?! Yes, I know. Some people find it irresistible to goad me because I'm a pretty reactive person. I blow up at the slightest provocation. I could understand that. But can people just please stop forcing my hand that I end up hurting others? It's quite heavy on the soul, you know?! So please, at least, spare me sometimes... from your seemingly well-meaning but really annoying misconceptions of "happiness".

For the umpteenth time, I am not a sad sad person. You might think that in order for me to be truly happy, I have to be with "someone". But I have never thought that. I've never thought there was something lacking in my life... not even when I was a couch potato and "broke-r" than that street person you just saw this morning rummaging the garbage bin for food. Call me shallow... but the minutest thing could make my day. Darn, even just a cup of cheap and awful-tasting coffee can make my day (especially if I haven't had coffee for a couple of days)... even a single piece of pink yarn that made me remember of a bootie I once knitted for a friend's baby could make me smile... even sneezing non-stop after discovering some dusty old books from a long forgotten friend could lift the dark clouds around my head... even a pixie of an ice cream I shared with a good friend once could make me grin for an entire week! Call me shallow, I just find it easy to be happy most of the time. And you may not find me literally jumping up and down for joy every day... but believe me when I tell you that "Melancholia" has never gripped my heart for long... because I have a lot in my life to be thankful for already... and I recognize and celebrate them in my heart every single day.

To make things short, I know what makes me happy better than anyone else does. So please don't presume to know me better than I know myself. (How else should I put it that would convince people to leave me alone in that area? I have no idea!)

Now I'm afraid I may have hurt someone. I really didn't mean to. I just felt I had to... or I would've hurt him more in the long run. 

So don't worry about my "lack" of happiness, dear friend. Worry about yours. Maybe you're just thinking I'm unhappy because you don't realize that it's actually your life you're looking at... and not mine. Not angry. Just offering some food for thought, 's all.

I'm rambling.

Pardon.

I should just tell myself to breathe... grin... and bear it. *sigh*

Labels:

Comments

  1. amorOctober 12, 2012 at 9:01 PM

    To quote UK govt's propaganda in WWII, "Keep calm and carry on." Our definition of happiness need not conform to others' standards.

    Unless one finds joy in killing or something illegal---> this needs serious help.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linea777October 14, 2012 at 4:43 PM

      Thanks, Amor! ^_^

      Was just bothered and unable to sleep until I was able to rant. :D

      How's your family, especially your little one? She's soooo pretty oi.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Getting sunburned in Daanbantayan

I went to this nice resort in Daanbantayan for a weekend trip last month. And no, this is not the island, this is still within the main island of Cebu. Ley and I took the bus. This is not the bus terminal. I took this at one of the pit stops. :P It's been so long since I took the public bus somewhere that I forgot you buy the ticket while the bus is already running, not before you board the bus. Yup, I was a bit of an ignoramus that day, or a really amnesiac person. Haha. Anyways, while we were on the bus, I fell asleep. And since I took the window seat, this  was what happened... And it hurt like the dickens!!! :(   But the place was lovely.  We arrived at the resort around noon.  The place was lovely and I couldn't stop taking pictures. :D ... even when the weather got a tad gloomy late that afternoon. When dusk came, I was excited to take some twilight shots, which are among my faves. The next day, Ley and I took more...
1 comment
Read more

Prettily sliced apples, anyone?

A friend just came back from her recent Singapore trip. I was a tad jealous because I couldn't afford to go myself but she brought me something from the Merlion City that I couldn't resist grinning when I heard about it. It's a trinket I've been wanting to have ever since I spied one in IKEA SG a few months ago. Yup, I'm a collector of nonsensical--but cute--trinkets. I was whopping when she sent me a message that she was able to find me one. It's not actually the one from IKEA but it's lovely nonetheless. IMO, it's prettier than the one I saw. Haha.  And now I couldn't help but use it whenever I can, which would be every few hours--if I had any say about it. :P Danke schoen, Donabel schön! I simply adore it! :D
1 comment
Read more

The Real Deal about Truth and Freedom

For the past few weeks, I have been fortunate enough to stick to the routine of reading a verse from the Bible every morning and reflecting on its message. It has been wonderfully enlightening, to say the least.  Last Wednesday, this was the verse that greeted me when I opened my Bible app...  If the son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.   ~ John 8:36  To say that I was stunned is an understatement... but then, I shouldn't have been. Ever since I can remember, whenever I'm struggling with some ethical or moral dilemma, I always get an epiphany of the answer. In my youthful pride, I thought "Wow, I'm brilliant." Not knowing it was not actually me but God who was guiding me to the answers. It took me a while to realize this and thankfully when I became an adult, I did. This time was one of them. You see, I was struggling. Four months and still counting, my father and I have been forced to endure each other's company for weeks on end. Outsid...
Post a Comment
Read more